Bumps SmittenIf you have searched “how to be a perfect mom?” on Google, you are not alone. At some point in their lives, parents ask themselves the parenting skills they need to possess to be a good mother in their motherhood journey. Well, worrying about these things is normal. You may not realize this, but your kids and the people around you see you as a perfect mother.
Being a perfect mother includes being a good role model. Between you and your spouse, you spend most of your quality time with your kids. In connection with that, you are the first person they consider as a role model.
Life does not come with a manual, it comes with a mother.
As kids grow older, they tend to learn and copy anything they see from the people around them, especially their parents. If you want them to be a good person in the future, you should possess and model the characteristics of a good person. By doing so, you are teaching them to acquire the qualities of an upright individual.
If you are a first-time mother, you may be asking about the qualities of a good mother. Well, don’t worry. This post talks about the characteristics a perfect mother should have. So, if you want to know more about it, keep on reading.
Be Patient
Similar to a running vehicle without enough gas, a mother who runs out of patience will get in trouble. We believe in a saying that “Patience is a virtue.” But for parents, especially mothers, it is not only a virtue but also a necessity. Sadly, not all mothers have long patience in dealing with everyday situations with their kids.
One of the characteristics of a good mother is having long patience. Patience allows parents to deal with daily annoyances and problems calmly. It helps the mothers to analyze the big picture before making a decision.
With that in mind, you may be asking if you can improve or develop patience. Well, considering that patience is an ability and an attitude, mothers can effectively work on it. There are several ways you can do to develop or improve your patience. One of these is taking care of your emotional and mental health by regular exercise and enough sleep.
Must be Consistent
Another characteristic of a good mother is being consistent. Being consistent includes having good time management skills. Time managing is quite hard, especially if you are an employee and a mother at the same time. Time management is all about maximizing your time to perform your jobs as an employee and a parent effectively.
Stay Calm
Even the most patient and understanding mother may experience anger, discouragement, and frustration, especially when dealing with kids. There is no doubt that staying calm in difficult situations is extremely hard. But, this is an essential characteristic that good mothers should acquire.
“In parenting, there is nothing stronger than gentleness.” – President Abraham Lincoln
Overreacting and losing your temper will cause you to do things that you will regret later on. Having a calming nature allows you to analyze the situation before acting on it. By doing so, your kids will give more respect to you because they consider you as a good role model.
There are three easy steps for you to stay calm in dealing with challenging situations involving your kids. These are the following:
Stop
This means that you need to take time to analyze the problem. Do not make impulsive decisions. It is essential to relax your mind and body to think for the best decision to solve the case.
Tune in
You must know your body signals and self-talk as it can make you calm or upset. Please take note that a good mother can resist anything that could make her angry. Anger is an option. In other words, there’s no reason to be angry unless you choose it. It is also essential that you understand your body signals, including flushed cheeks, clenched jaws, elevated heartbeat, and shallow breathing. Take note that your body will show signs that you are emotionally and physically escalating when you are angry or upset.
Act
A calm mind and body allow you to think more effectively. This enables you to construct decisions that benefit both sides. At this point, you can now share what you feel with your kids appropriately and clearly. If you are still doubtful, it is better to stay quiet. If you don’t know how you will respond to the situation, it is better to go to a quiet place and take a deep breath.
Organized
Being organized is an essential trait a good mother should possess. If you have organized rules and regulations inside the house, your kids will become aware of the things they should and should not do. Aside from having organized rules, it would be best if you will impose these consistently. Changing them more frequently can make your kids feel confused.
This same concept also goes in disciplining your kids. You need to impose consistent punishments. Your kids won’t respect you if you do not have consistent and organized punishments.
Friendly and Respectful
You should not impose respect; you need to earn it from the people around you. Being friendly and respectful are two of the most important concepts that your kids should learn and acquire from you. The home is the first place where they should know everything, including giving respect to others. At a young age, your children should show respect to the elders and other kids. The best way to teach them how to be respectful and friendly is to let them see it from you.
Aside from your friends and neighbors, you should also show respect to your kids. This is the simplest and easiest way to teach them how to be respectful and friendly.
Funny
Mothers don’t need to be jokester or a comic to bring a sense of humor to the family. Most parents think that being funny makes them less effective in imposing serious rules. But let us look at the other side; being funny can help mothers have a stronger connection with their kids, promote good behavior, and calm down the situations.
Most parents think that being angry when their kids did something wrong is the best response. But this is not always applicable in every situation. Instead, parental anger can loosen your relationship with your child. To prevent that from happening, it would be better to have a humorous and thoughtful exchange of jokes with your kids, but not to the point that it will demean them.
Supportive
Kids feel more loved and cared for when their parents support them with what they want. A supportive mother is the one who considers the ideas of her kids. You are more effective in influencing your kids to build a good relationship with them instead of imposing strict rules and regulations.
Kids need support from their parents, especially their mothers. If they feel that you support them to achieve what they want in life, they will become more open to you. In other words, they will start to share their thoughts and feelings about something with you.
Optimism, trust, love, and support are four things that every mother could give to their kids to make them feel secure and safe. These are also the most powerful and effective weapons against disappointments, life challenges, and peer pressure.
Good Listener
A good listener is another trait that makes a perfect mother. If you make decisions and try to solve your kid’s problems without hearing their complaints, they will feel frustrated and invalidated.
You should make your kids feel that you listen and understand what they think. Your kids want you to make them feel that they are not alone and what they say matters to you, like their mother.
If you are a good listener to your children, you allow them to develop decisions to solve their problems. This makes them more independent. Even if they can’t come up with a good solution, listening to their rants can make them feel more comfortable.
Conclusion
There is no doubt that being a parent is not a joke. As a mother, you are expected to do everything in the house, from doing the chores and molding your kids to be good people in the future.
In terms of the motherhood qualities and characteristics that make a good mother, assessing your situation is essential. Mothers have different budgets and diverse backgrounds. Some live in small apartments, while others have a large home with a wide yard.
No matter where you live, the type of parenting you follow, and your background, you must do your best to become a good parent to your kids. Do not waste your time judging others or comparing the way you raise your kids to other parents. Do not forget that you are a unique and perfect mother.
